The Master Builder Who Came to Dinner - Opening Scene

[The film begins with a blue hill with snow on it. The title "The Master Builder Who Came to Dinner" comes up. Baby giggling is then heard and the hill is revealed to be Lola's bottom as Cassius puts baby powder on it]

Cassius: There, that's better.

[He throws Lola up into the air and brings out her nappy, which Lola herself lands in]

Cassius: All clean.

[He puts Lola in the pool with Brian and Patrick. Cassius then lays back in a deck chair and puts on sunglasses. Bandit arrives]

Bandit: He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake~

Cassius: What are you doing here, you lot? And what are you and Benedict talking about?

Bandit: We're talkin' about Santa Claus! You know, Cassius. There are only 10 days left until Christmas arrives. Yep. So you'd better be good. They're right, you know.

Cassius: I'd better be good? How about this, you lot better be scarce. Now go on. All of you. I don't care about Christmas.

[Later, Cassius is about to cut a tree in half when...]

Bandit: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way~

[Cassius screams and throws the electric saw into the post mail]

Cassius: Bandit!

[Bandit laughs]

Bandit: It is only 6 days left 'til Christmas. Now you need to get your master builder's butt in gear and go get your marshmallows. Because everybody knows that with roasting marshmallows and s' mores are nothing. He's right, Benedict.

Cassius: Enough! I don't care about any of this nonsense! Now, shoo!

Benedict: Okay, okay. But don't say we didn't say we told you so.

[Sometime later on, it's snowing. Cassius comes out with a shovel and digs up some snow when Bandit appears out of it, startling him]

Bandit: Splashing through the snow, and laughing all the way. Ah-ha-ha~ Oh, man. It's finally here. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. You got everything ready?

Cassius: D'oh.

Bandit: You mean you haven't trimmed your stockings, or hung your chestnuts, or roasted the tree?

Benedict: He's getting mixed up.

Cassius: D'oh.

Benedict: Or dignified your pudding?

Cassius: Benedict! Will you get it through your thick heads?! No one here gives a hoot about Christmas!

[Lois comes out with Lola and Patrick]

Lois: A white Christmas! Oh, how perfect. And it's our first one together as a family. Isn't this exciting?

Cassius: It sure is, Lois.

Bandit: Uh, Lois, I think there's something Cassius needs to tell...

Benedict: [covering his mouth] Don't ruin the surprise for her, Bandit.

Lois: Surprise? Oh, I love surprises. You're the best. [kisses Cassius and takes the kids back in] Come on. Let's go make some Cheetos chips.

Benedict: Uh-oh, Cassius' in big trouble.

Cassius: You got that right.