By the Book

• Brian: A hero is only as good as his secret weapon!
• Brian and Kermit: (screams)
• Barney: 14 years ago hasn't improved your aim, lady!
• Shirley Bancroft: Thine escape shall be thy last time!
• Barney and Frida: (panting)
• Big eggs: (Godzilla shriek)
• Shirley Bancroft: (laughing evilly)
• One of the big eggs: (Godzilla shrieks)
• Brooke: Huh?
• One of the big eggs: Woah! (crack)
• Brooke: Oh shit!
• Shirley Bancroft: (grunts)
• One of the big eggs: (Godzilla shrieks)
• Barney: Frida! (Frida screams) Don't worry! Yeow!
• Barney and Frida: Duck!
• Brooke: Oh shit! Hey!
• One of the big eggs: Whoa, whoa! Woah! (big eggs crack)
• Benedict Bancroft: Oh, no! Let me in!
• Kermit: D'oh! Wow, this is almost too easy!
• Shirley Bancroft: The book doesn't help thee!
• Brian and Kermit: (dooms and screams)
• Shirley Bancroft: Do my bidding, bird! There they go! After them!
• Kermit: A turkey? I love jokes! Even we're not scared of that!
• Brian: (laughs) Ah...I am so constipated.
• Kermit: (screams) Yikes!
• Brian: (screams) Do it!
• Giant turkey: Uh-oh!
• Kermit: Can you taste it, Brian?
• Brian: Yeah.
• Kermit: Time to baste this bird. (giant turkey screams) At least don't forget to watch this face, Brian. Not me?
• Brian: (laughs)
• Shirley Bancroft: (yelling)
• Brian and Kermit: (screaming)
• Kermit: Hey! Hold on a second, Brian.
• Spike: Quickly! Thanks.
• Rolla: I'm outta here.
• Twilight: Yeah, that Shaman is the same thing.
• Marcus: Hold on, Spike, we need your help.
• Spike: Me. What may I do?
• Marcus: We need you to read that spell to defeat Shirley Bancroft.
• Spike: You're a genius! I told you, I'm not the one Shaman! I have no idea if I will take you up against her!
• Marcus: Oh, you're saying the part Finnish, right?
• Spike: Only 1/16th.
• Marcus: It doesn't bother, you still have Finnish blood. I mean yes, only you manage to read the spell. That'll send Shirley Bancroft back where she came from.
• Spike: Forget it, you don't even have the book!
• Frida: No, Brian does.
• Brooke: You can do it, boy!
• Shirley Bancroft: Give me my book, rebel chum!
• Brian: Chum. Where?
• Kermit: D'oh! Let brother go, your twisted mother!
• Shirley Bancroft: What's that sound?
• Kermit: You're not frozen! Wow, it worked in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie!
• Shirley Bancroft: You folks, I shall destroy thee!
• Kermit: (screams) Yo, bro!
• Shirley Bancroft: (grunts)
• Brian: Kermit, run!
• Brooke: The book! The book!
• Kermit: In fact, for all of you!
• Shirley Bancroft: (grunts) Red straw!
• Big eggs: (Godzilla shriek)
• Shirley Bancroft: Win me the book.
• Kermit: Brian!
• Shirley Bancroft: That's it!
• Brian: Oh, no! Frida!
• Frida: D'oh! Barney!
• Barney: Marcus!
• Marcus: It's my spell. Does it take you, Spike?
• Shirley Bancroft: (laughing evilly) The book is useless to a single fatal.
• Marcus: Oh, no, not to a Finnish.
• Shirley Bancroft: Nay! I'll stop thee myself!
• Marcus: Quickly Spike, read!
• Spike: 'Ancient evil gives these hands, only good can recompense. For the misdeeds that you've done, the queen returns from where you've come'!
• Shirley Bancroft: (screams)
• Marcus: Spike, it's working!
• Brooke: It does!
• Shirley Bancroft: Huh?
• Brian: Whoa!
• (crack)
• Kermit: D'oh!
• Shirley Bancroft: No, not again. (grunts)
• Benedict Bancroft: D'oh!
• Shirley Bancroft: I won't go back alone.
• Benedict Bancroft: (screams)
• (crack)
• Brooke: Benedict Bancroft's last book is a new one of the universe will never buy.
• Frida: Thank goodness.
• Dennis: Yo, that would've been a "hot" bestseller.
• Brian: I forgot about my cap.