Playtime at Sam

• Pinhead: (EXCLAIMS) Oh! No, no, no, stop! (GASPS) (LAUGHING) (EXCLAIMS) (SCREAMS) (EXCLAIMING) (YELLS IN PAIN) Woo-hoo! (CHUCKLES)
• Voice Box: I see you're missing an eye, crusader.
• Sam: Bluebells, cockshells. Eenie, miny…
• Voice Box: You’re my favorite deputy.
• Sam's Father: (OFFSCREEN) Sam!
• Sam: I'm coming!
• Pinhead: (GROANS) Nice.
• Johnny: (WHIMPERING)
• Daphne: Oh, it’s gonna be okay, Johnny.
• Felix: Pinhead’s going to college with Junior. It’s what he’s always wanted.
• Jack: Aw, he’s a genius. College is no place for a toy.
• Christina: Toys are for playtime.
• Gameboy: Oh, speaking of playtime, they’re lining up out there!
• Felix: (OFFSCREEN) How many?
• Gameboy: There must be dozens.
• Rex: (EXCLAIMS) I can hardly wait!
• Felix: Places, everyone!
• (RINGING)
• Rex: At last! I’m gonna get played with us!
• Felix: Oh, shit.
• Rex: Come to papa.
• (TEENAGERS SHOUTING) (EXCLAIMS) (SHRIEKING) (SQUEALING)
• (A Boy and Girl stretch Pronto until his phone cord goes haywire)
• Daphne's Voice Box: Motherfucker!
• (Girl bangs the wooden blocks as a toy hammer.)
• Felix's Voice Box: Captain... Captain... Captain... Captain... Captain Felix to the rescue.
• Pinhead's Voice Box: There’s a shark in my boot. I’d like to join your posse, boys, and now first I’m gonna sing a rock song.
• Sam: The young purple and white! Move over, Shaggy Ball. We have a guest. You want some coffee? It’s good for you. But don’t drink too much, or you’ll have to… Have to… Be right back!
• Pinhead: Psst! Hey, hello? Hi. Excuse me, sir.
• Shaggy Ball: Shh!
• Pinhead: Can you tell me where I am?
• Blossom: The guy’s just asking a question.
• Shaggy Ball: Well, excuse me. I’m trying to stay in character. (SNIFFS DRAMATICALLY)
• Blossom: My name’s Blossom. You’ve met Baron von Shush.
• Trixie: Hello, I’m Trixie.
• Both: Shh!
• Pinhead: Guys, hey. Guys, look, I don’t know where I am.
• Trixie: We’re either in a café in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey. I’m pretty sure I just came back from the doctor with life-changing news.
• Blossom: We do a lot of improvs here. Just stay loose, have fun, you’ll be fine.
• (TOILET FLUSHING)
• Pinhead: No, no, no, no. I…
• Sam: Who wants lunch? Bee-boop-bee-boop. It has a secret ingredient. Jelly beans.
• Pinhead's Voice Box: Somebody’s bane the soda box.
• Sam: (GASPS) Bane? Who would do such a mean thing? (CACKLES) (EXCLAIMS) The eco-goth! Look out! She’s using her special powers! "I know where to hide." She’ll never find us here. What’s up? (EXCLAIMS) She found us! We need a spaceship to get away from the eco-goth!
• Trixie: You’re doing great!
• Shaggy Ball: Are you classicly-trained?
• Pinhead: Look, I just need to know how to get out of here!
• Blossom: There is no way out.
• Pinhead: (GASPS)
• Blossom: Just kidding. Door’s right over there.
• Sally: Well, purple and white, you just jumped right in, didn’t ya? I’m Sally.
• Pinhead: Uh, Pinhead.
• Sally: Pinhead? Really? You’re gonna stick with that? ‘Cause now’s your chance to change it, new room and all. That’s coming from a doll named Sally.
• Peas-in-A-Pod: Who’s the new guy? Are you a radical purple and white?
• Pinhead: Well, actually.
• Peas-in-A-Pod: ‘Course he’s not, pea brain. He does better have a hat.
• Pinhead: I do too have… (GASPS) My hat!
• Peas-in-A-Pod: Told ya.
• Sam: (OFFSCREEN) I found a spaceship!
• Shaggy Ball: Showtime.
• Sam: Quick, get in. Fasten your seat belts. Close your tray tables. Hold on. It might get a little bumpy. Three, two, one, blastoff! Whoo-hoo! You saved us, purple and white. You’re our hero. (LAUGHING)